A Black Friday Experience

They call it "Black Friday" for a reason, people. Black is a dark, dark color.

For about 2 weeks, I have been anxiously awaiting the day after Thanksgiving so I could partake in the shopping wonders of Black Friday. I saw all the commercials on TV (gotta love those Target ones) and read all the newspaper ads and even looked up the deals on blackfriday.com. Although my husband and I had no need for any large purchase, we thought it would be fun to wake up early (and I mean early) and go down and find ourselves some cheap loot!

So I woke up at 2:30 am (yes, that's right, 2:30 am, no need to re-read) on Friday and dragged poor Eric out of bed and drove to Kohl's. Now of course, we live next to the ONE Kohl's in all of Southern California that decided to NOT open at 3am and wait until 7 to open. We did not know this, of course, until we drove through the empty parking lot in the dark. Eric was not stoked. So I decided we would just skip Kohl's and mosey on down to Target, which opened at 4. However, when we got there, the line of shivering people wrapped completely around the entire store and Eric was getting more un-stoked by the minute. So we went home. I was feeling very grumpy, but decided I would get some sleep and be back at it by 7.

Around 7:30, I arrived at the mall and entered an undisclosed department store (I don't want Eric to know where I was as I was shopping for him ... I wonder if he even reads this?). However, once inside the doors, I realized I had entered Disneyland on a Saturday in July. There were people everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. I tried to manuever through the aisles, but got so clostrophobic, I could only handle being in the store for less than 10 minutes. I was starting to realize this wasn't all it was cracked up to be. And America is in a recession ... ya right.

I left. I can buy his gift online.

You would think I learned my lesson, but instead, I headed back to Kohl's. As I entered the chaos, I decided to stick to it and go shopping. I saw a very cute $80 peacoat hanging randomly on a hanger and grabbed it. As I was looking for its price, a lady approached me. More accurately, a lady mildly harrassed me.

"Where did you find that?"

"I just saw it hanging. I'm trying to find where it goes."

"Are you going to buy it?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know how much it is."

"Well, where did you get it from?"

"It was in the wrong place."

"Do you want it?"

Okay, I was annoyed. This lady needed to go away. But before I could duck away and hide in the dressing room, the lady called over an employee and asked where the coat came from. The employee said it was probably the last one, but that she thought it was 40% off.

I tried to figure out 40% off of $80 in my head (don't judge, I teache 2nd grade Math), but the lady kept pestering me.

"Do you want the coat? Are you gonna buy it?" This was repeated SEVERAL times.

"TAKE IT." I shoved it at her. Okay, fine, not really. I did give it to her, though. No coat was worth THAT.

I meandered to the home goods area. This was when I realized what I was most thankful for this year ... that I don't work at Kohl's or any other retail store. It looked like people had literally taken everything off the shelves and threw it on the floor. You couldn't even walk without stepping on pillows, towels and picture frames. Okay, I was done. As I left, I noticed the line that wrapped around the inside of the store. Oh dear Lord.

I went home empty-handed and it never felt so good to leave a shopping spree without any goods. I don't think I will ever attempt Black Friday again.